Manflesh of the Month: Martin Freeman

Martin, BAMF

Let’s just get this out of the way up front: I’m done with slagging off The Hobbit trilogy. I confess that I’ve been guilty of this in the past, but I enthusiastically admit that I have an age-old soft spot for LOTR, which has only grown in my old age. Any opportunity to spend 12+ hours indulging myself in the Tolkien universe is roundly welcomed. The Hobbit films are absolutely fine and lovely and fun and perfectly cast and beautiful and it makes me cry at the end just like the original trilogy. They did their job. And Martin Freeman playing Bilbo is no small reason it worked.* 

 *deep breath* Mah-tin. 

Arthur Dent (Dent Arthur Dent). Dr. John Watson. Bilbo fucking Baggins, bravest little hobbit of them all. As much of a British mascot as anyone, honestly. Nerd Royalty. Sharp as an unbated foil. Spicy as a take-away curry. Salty as the sea. Snappy dresser. Sexy AF. Giving Sassy Daddy energy all the live-long day. 

             

 

For many years, he was that cherub-faced comedic actor who popped up in Simon Pegg movies and always played hapless everyman characters roped into weird situations, giving him plentiful space to showcase his inimitable and myriad facial expressions. He’s the master of bemusement, which is always layered with fifteen other emotions, like a multi-tonal swathe of silk. But it’s fabric wrapped around a bulldog of an actor, utterly unintimidated by roles that could make or break him. And all he breaks is a million hearts whenever he delivers a wrenching emotional scene. 

He's so inspirational, in fact, that I am writing actual legit fandom fanfiction for the first time since 2018. I woke up thinking “I am lacking a headcanon tale where Frodo is Bilbo’s secret son, with soft bisexual feels” and now that’s my weekend Freeman-time accounted for. It’s been real. 

These are the two best GIFs in the entire world

My annual Christmastime LOTR/Hobbit re-watch definitely spurred me on, as well as finally beholding the perfection that is the first season of Fargo, which is total Caity bait, being full of loving Easter eggs referencing beloved Coen films. Martin is in fine form for that show, portraying one of the most morally complex and understatedly clever characters ever committed to the small screen. As a viewer, I vacillated between empathy and disappointment in Lester Nygaard, but after one bemusing and perplexing scene, I finally landed on revulsion. It’s rare that in one actor, you are treated to absolute adoration for a role like Bilbo, and then within the same year, get emotionally sucker-punched with a Lester. Incredible. 

Do I even need to get started on his brilliance in Sherlock? It’s a given. I loved him in it when I saw it eleven years ago, and re-watching the whole series for the first time since 2017, I’m still blown away. All the emotions are densely packed into those 90-minute episodes like dark matter. Even considering how much of a rollercoaster the fourth series was, Martin was nonetheless incandescent. 

Perfection

And he does all of this, and shit-tons more, during a time in his life that was objectively rough-going. I will not get into the tabloid-y weeds with this, but regrettably, a fringe group of batshit Sherlock fans were so unnecessarily and undeservedly livid that John and Sherlock weren’t gay lovers by the end of the series that they weaponized their ire on social media and targeted Martin’s family, sending death threats to his then wife Amanda Abbington, and traumatizing everyone involved. This, I’m sure, contributed to the dissolution of a 16-year marriage that had already been strained by Martin’s extremely busy schedule and increased exposure and fame, which he himself admits is not a mantle he carries as well as other celebrity figures. The entire situation is heartbreaking and unfortunate and I hate that fandom had anything to do with it whatsoever. 

All this wretchedness aside, Martin continues to be a joy to watch in every project. Even his ancillary appearances in the Black Panther movies as a “Tolkien White Guy” (alongside future Manflesh of the Month Andy Serkis) are pure gold. He is highly deserving of more lead characters IMHO, which makes something like the unassuming pandemic-themed Cargo such a pleasant surprise. He brings everyman humanity with such verve and nuance to a non-splashy role, and it’s refreshing as much as it is effective. 

SASS and CLASS

                                

Martin is possibly most enjoyable while popping up on Graham Norton and the like. He has a wit as precise and sparkling as Colbert’s, which is one of the greatest compliments I will ever bestow upon a human. His sass factor often reaches drag-queen levels, and his personal style is frequently bold and/or unconventional without being quirky (I loathe quirky). 

I cannot legally conclude without comment on Martin’s aesthetic value. He is a premium example of Henry V’s old chestnut: “In faith… the elder I wax, the better I shall appear… old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face.” Oh what a face indeed, and consistently well-deployed in the dazzling grin department. I just… can’t. I am liquefied just thinking about it, but at least I know where my towel is. 

That’s our Martin for now. May you derive as much enjoyment from him as pleases you. And if you don’t, all the more sassy daddy for (non-militant) fangirls like me. Ta. 

Love everything about this

 *I’m also convinced that my own initial vague aversion to The Hobbit was seeing it in theatres at the 48 fps frame rate and that subconsciously affected my perception of its (over)ambitiousness, but upon subsequent viewings on Blu-Ray on a TV at a standard refresh rate (NO SOAP-OPERA SMOOTHING!), and viewing the millions of hours of behind-the-scenes appendices, I cannot help my fangirl heart’s squishy nature and tendency to adore on-set antics and the seemingly endless talent poured into the production of these films, SO THERE, fuck it. If y’all don’t get a kick out of seeing goth!Cate Blanchett kicking Sauron’s ass or Lee Pace being the most fabulous drama queen in Middle Earth or Bilbo slaying giant spiders and riddling with Gollum and Smaug and seeing Sir Antony Sher (ANTONY SHER, people) playing a royal dwarf I don’t know who you are.